Well, this is a big foot-in-mouth moment for me.
I’ve been laughing at myself for over three months now. If you see me driving down the road, you’ll notice the quiet conversation I am having with myself complete with “shaking my head moments” (or “SMH” for you texters…you know you are getting old when you have to google “SMH” because you are so out of the loop). The last time I posted, I went on and on about my next project of recovering our existing sofa to save money because of our big plans to move to a larger home in a couple of years so we could expand our family.
Big plans. You know what happens when you go making big plans? God shows up and gets in the way and reminds you that your plans are not His! He is sovereign over me and doesn’t give a crap about closet space and half baths.
Oh yeah, we were going to tough it out here in our tiny house with our two growing children, pay our bills, and invest in our future so we could take a leap and expand our family down the road. Like way down the road.
Then I noticed I was peeing a lot.
First red flag.
And man, I had so much to do, but I was just SO tired ALL.THE.TIME.
Red flag #2
Then the thought crossed my mind that if I was one of those gals who charted her cycle, I would know if I was late.
Red flag #3, No “Red Flag.”
So the stick confirmed it. We are expecting our third baby! A little shock-and-awe at first, but nonetheless, we are thrilled to be having another child. There’s our little gummy bear now!
Of course the first question was, “Where will it live?” Our two girls already share the second bedroom, so things will be tight.
I’ve been doing a lot of self-talk lately. “Okay, this can work. I will be pregnant for nine months, then once the baby is born, he/she can sleep in our room for five months until I can’t take it anymore….That’s like a whole year to figure out where a crib will go.”
It’s time to get creative for sure. I’ve been feeling really suffocated lately. Time to purge. Time for another yard sale. Time to make some difficult choices and really maximize our living space. We.Can.Do.This.
Fortunately, I am feeling great and I have made it through the first trimester, which was BRUTAL!
Constant nausea, 2 bouts of Strep Throat, and the Flu…needless to say, I put in a lot of couch time. I still don’t know how my girls didn’t starve to death or burn the house down because I was so unavailable to them. My husband and family and friends have been super helpful. On the plus side, I have finally seen every episode of Law and Order SVU, and I feel confident that I could be an FBI profiler if I ever need to enter the workplace again, thanks to the constant loop of Criminal Minds episodes on cable.
I did make it to the fabric store before things got really heavy and found a nice upholstery fabric to recover our couch. Oh yes, I’ve got full intentions of getting that task done! I’ve pretty much been staring at it in the corner of the living room ever since. I move it occasionally to vacuum, but that’s it for now. This has been my view from the couch since March.
I will get this done! Just not right now. I think it will hang out in that corner through the summer because I will be busy pricing things for a yard sale during the next few weeks.
We recently had a second ultrasound and are almost positive we know what we are having… but it is still a little soon for a definite answer. We can’t wait! The weeks spent waiting for that 5 month ultrasound are always so intense. I don’t know how people can wait till the baby is born to find out the sex. It’s maddening! Crazy, they’re ca-ra-zay, I tell ya!
So, while the baby is a blessing for sure, the logistics of this sort of thing are a little nerve-wracking. I’ve been clinging to some verses lately and I am feeling so reassured despite my desire for more square footage and extra bedrooms. It seems this filthy heart of mine needs constant fixing and reminding that I am not in control.
“What is the price of two sparrows–one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.“The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.” Isaiah 55:8-11
Praising God and trying not to let myself get in the way of His blessing! Our family is growing, our children are healthy and happy, I have more than enough and more than I deserve.
P.S. We think it’s a boy!